Affirmations of A Little Brown Boy {ChrissyXtina is A Mom}

Affirmations of A Little Brown Boy

I dealt with infertility for 5 years before being blessed with a child, a son. A beautiful brown boy who is rambunctious, caring, intelligent and oddly humorous (like his Mom). On the day he was born, the words “I love you” involuntarily kept escaping my mouth every few moments. This type of love was new to me, it was completely overwhelming and self-sacrificing. I was emotionally raw, wholly in love, but also terrified of all the what if’s. His nurse her overheard me telling my son that I loved him and told me to make sure I told him that every day. From that day on I have not let a day go by without telling him I love him. EVERYDAY. PERIOD.

If my parenting style could be summed up into one word it would be: Intentional. About a week ago I began making my son recite the following affirmations:

“I am who God says I am.”

“I am a leader.”

“I am strong”

“I am beautiful.”

“I am smart.”

“I am loved.”

I figured that as a brown boy the world would be explicitly intentional about how little they valued his life; so, I must be explicitly intentional about teaching him how valuable he actually is. He’s only 3 years old so I wasn’t expecting him to internalize these affirmations, but I was wrong. Within the first few days he asked me, “Who is God?” I was stunned, this wasn’t a question I expected him to ask at his age, but then my thoughts pivoted. We can’t assume what our children can or can’t understand. One thing is for sure, they understand more than what we give them credit for. Research shows that preschoolers can judge someone based on race and that teachers can harbor implicit bias towards students based on race. So, when he goes to school I want him to be knowledgeable and confident of his own worth.  

I know that these affirmations alone will not shape him into a great person, but they are a start. Within the first week he sparked a conversation regarding the affirmations, one of many I’m sure. We do our affirmations at the start of the day on the way to school and before bed. At first it was our “thing”, but I realized that it was crucial that his father do this with him as well. Hearing those words about himself, from a brown man, deepens the invaluable legacy of black fatherhood. No, I’m not telling you to start doing affirmations with your child, but I am saying that you must be intentional in how you communicate with your child regarding their value, especially if you have a child of color. Be intentional and be consistent.